Illfated and Out Dated
by Aristosarcastic
Summary: 50 themes centric around Sniper & Scout.


#01 - Ring  
When Scout went into one of his nonsensical rants—his dad's collection of baseball rings, this time—Sniper knew that his best defense would be a rough kiss and a carefully placed hand to the back of the head.

#02 - Hero  
Saxton Hale was the Sniper's hero—Scout had learned that the hard way when insulting the burly Australian had gained him a bloody nose and a swollen eye.

#03 - Memory  
"Hey…yo Snipes, 'member that time I saved ya life from dat RED spy?" "Yeah. Ya remind me every time ya want somethin'."

#04 - Box  
Never before had a box depressed him; But as two men lowered the casket into the ground, Sniper could find nothing more heart-wrenching than that plain wooden frame.

#05 - Run  
Running was what he was best at, what had kept him alive, and what had kept him sane; of course, he ran even faster when there was a bellowing Australian behind him, holding the remnants of the water balloon that had woken him.

#06 - Hurricane  
"Yeah boyo, you're a force a' nature an' all of that—now would ya get off my kitchen table?"

#07 - Wings  
Scout had once told him that, every Christmas when he was a child, his mom would let him sit on her shoulders and put the paper mache Angel on the top of the tree; Sniper couldn't help but smile as the home-sick boy seated on his shoulders stretched an arm out to place a crudely molded angel on top of the equally decrepit Christmas tree.

#08 - Cold  
He had never particularly enjoyed public displays of affection, but what was he to do? The kid was shivering and wouldn't shut up about how bloody cold it was—at least, that was the excuse he gave himself as he wrapped his arms around the Scout's slight frame and kissed his forehead.

#09 - Red  
It was no use trying to convince himself that it all might end well for them in the long run; as he lay next to the dozing American he knew already that when that blue shirt flitted across the sight of his scope tomorrow, he would have to pull the trigger without a second thought.

#10 - Drink  
Scout found it both incredibly revolting and incriminating that Sniper would even think to drink the water in 2Fort.

#11 - Midnight  
He always pretended to be asleep as the pale, silvery moonlight silhouetted Sniper's form at the window, and lay awake for hours afterwards—was it precaution or regret that guided the man's plaintive thoughts?

#12 - Temptation  
An intangible ocean of years and morality separated them, but Scout had made his intentions all too clear, and Sniper was having a hard time fighting his mortality.

#13 - View  
Sometimes, Scout would notice a small red laser focused on a wall near him and know that Sniper was watching out for him; he was always torn between blowing a two fingered kiss or mooning the silent observer.

#14 - Music  
Sniper had once played the didgeridoo for Scout—in his defense, he almost made it two minutes before falling into hysterics and roaring about how it sounded "just like fahtin'!"

#15 - Silk  
On the rare occurrence that Scout was forced to dress up, he always wore the same suit; Sniper had always meant to ask what material it was, but was usually too busy tearing it off to concern himself with the minor details.

#16 - Cover  
The last thing he heard was a familiar voice shouting at him to take cover before everything went dark; Scout blinked in a haze, his hearing muted he as weaved in and out of consciousness, aware only of a pair of calloused hands hoisting him from the moist Earth.

#17 - Promise  
Never had he felt more afraid than the day he had first witnessed Sniper suffering through a panic attack—he promised to not mention it to anyone, but each subsequent attack grated on his will.

#18 - Dream  
Scout liked to talk about his dreams as a young child might, rambling on and on about how he was one day going to be a famous baseball player and marry the prettiest girl in the world—Sniper would shush him sharply, reminding him that the discussion of future marriage arrangements was terrible pillow talk.

#19 - Candle  
The death of a team-mate was never an easy ordeal—the brief ceremonies only served to pour salt in the wounds of those left behind.

#20 - Talent  
Looking with a fixed glare at the plate of half-burnt eggs and bangers Sniper had tossed in front of him, Scout pined for the chocolate-chip pancakes his mom used to make every Saturday morning.

#21 - Silence  
His hands ghosted over his young lover's skin, mapping out every crevice and scar on that pale flesh as he held his breath—it was only in the lad's sleep that Sniper would show such quiet affection.

#22 - Journey  
A bishop had once told him that life was a journey that God led you on—Sniper wondered if, by extension, it was God who had led him into that dark-alleyway, and led his hands in ripping off the pants of a boy nearly 20 years his junior.

#23 - Fire  
He had always assumed that passionate romances were just over exaggerations from cheesy Hollywood movies; that was until he'd felt Sniper's lips sucking greedily at the nape of his neck and his hands desperately traveling over every part of his exposed flesh that they could–each touch sent a tremor down his spine and liquid fire to course through his veins.

#24 - Strength  
"Aren't you the strong one? _You_take that bloody crate to the Engineer!" Sniper often marveled at how easy it was to manipulate Scout.

#25 - Mask  
When he woke up the next morning to Scout informing that there had been a spy in the base the night prior, and that he was sorry for not being able to come up to tell him because he'd been on guard duty, Sniper thought it in his best interest to not state that he had apparently fucked a very convincing imitation of him last night.

#26 - Ice  
It was often hard for Sniper to remember why it was he put up with a relationship that was practically baby-sitting, but then the lout would flash him a buck-toothed grin and he felt his heart melt all over again.

#27 - Fall  
Sniper often had dreams where he was falling, the faces of his loved ones staring down with content indifference as he plummeted—those were always his favorite dreams.

#28 - Forgotten  
Years later, Scout would come back to the old loft they'd shared and pull up the floorboard he'd remembered, recovering the series of pictures with a tired smile.

#29 - Dance  
The more he thought about it, the less he cared about the fundamental implications of your boyfriend taking you to a stripper bar for your twenty-first birthday.

#30 - Body  
Sniper could still remember what it was like to be young and desperate for the attention and recognition of someone older—so as Scout tried to impress him by listing off all the large bodies of water in America, he occupied himself with half-sarcastic mutters of "Oh, really?" and "Isn't that fascinating" as he examined a far more interesting body.

#31 - Sacred  
On his first trip to America, Sniper learned that it wasn't quite couth to shout "God save the Queen!"—along with the fact that Scout's mother has a mean right hook.

#32 - Farewells  
His last conversation with his parents had ended with Scout grasping the phone from his hands and stating "Yo, I'm tryin' ta fuck yah son over here, ya moind?"; Sniper didn't know which was worse—the fact that his parents now had his job _and_ sexuality to be horrified over, or the fact that he'd orgasmed harder that night than he ever had.

#33 - World  
Sniper had seen what felt like the entire world to Scout—he wondered if he'd ever be able to catch up, or if he'd never be able to understand everything that the Aussie had been through.

#34 - Formal  
"I feel like a goddamn monkey in this suit, man!" "Ya shriek like one, I'll give ya that."

#35 - Fever  
When Scout had noncommittally joked that his fever probably had something to do with his mutant kidneys, Sniper spent the rest of his week-long illness reeling over the possibility.

#36 - Laugh  
Despite their many differences, whooping and laughing at a fallen enemy was something they both shared.

#37 - Lies  
He couldn't stand when, with confident eyes and an honest smile, Scout would say that he'd 'always stick around' Sniper—he was tired of a lifetime of that particular lie.

#38 - Forever  
With their backs to the moist grass and a blanket of stars overhead, Scout comments that he could lie there forever with him; Sniper wonders just how different their perceptions of 'forever' truly are.

#39 - Overwhelmed  
Clenching his pathetic hand of cards in a vice-like grip, the decision to play strip poker was seeming like a worse and worse idea every second for Sniper.

#40 - Whisper  
When he sat in the scrubland with Scout's head in his lap, Sniper could almost feel the whispers of what peace must have felt like.

#41 - Wait  
Crowded airports always made him nervous—if that damn kid didn't leap into his arms and rattle on about how much he missed him when he got off, there were going to be words.

#42 - Talk  
There were times when Scout would realize, quite suddenly, that Sniper hadn't said a word in hours and had just been silently listening to his ranting.

#43 - Search  
Sniper had once considered joining a search and rescue team when he was young; when Scout announced that he wanted to join after the battle, Sniper could almost feel himself growing older.

#44 - Hope  
He could feel his chest constricting as the administrator listed off who would be taking the next break—he'd been lucky enough to be in Sniper's group the past nine times, assuming the Australian hadn't been paying Spy to make certain of that.

#45 – Eclipse  
"C'mon mate, it only happens once a month—try n' enjoy it." "Whatta we talkin' about? Yah period?"

#46 - Gravity  
The fall was disorienting, excruciating—yet through the pain of his charred skin and the impact of the water below, all Scout could think about was how Sniper had pushed him out of the window just as the pyro ran around the corner.

#47 - Highway  
The tension was nearly palpable between them, with Scout just about sick of the barren Australian road and Sniper just about ready to crack Scout's skull open for asking if they were there yet.

#48 - Unknown  
Jack, he had said his name was, whispering in Scout's ear as they parted for their respective countries; it was crisp on the tongue as a sharp snap of the word—hardly an exciting name, but he found himself whispering it to himself when the silence of the night threatened to stifle him.

#49 - Lock  
"Zere is no reason to feel ashamed." The Spy says, but Sniper isn't quite sure what else he's supposed to feel as the other picks at a pair of handcuffs holding him to a bedpost.

#50 - Breathe  
Through blurred vision and trembling limbs, Sniper wanted to console the distraught Scout crouching over him and tell him that everything would be alright; as his own blood coagulated in his throat and choked him, he hoped that cupping the boy's cheek with a grimy hand would get the message across.


End file.
